I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
