Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
