I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
