Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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