dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
