love makes seman taste better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
