I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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