My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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