if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
