I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
