Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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