Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
