Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
