that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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