I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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