OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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