It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
