JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... šÆššš
Do I even want to know?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
donāt ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously donāt make the best life choices.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
