I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
