hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone signed my nipple.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
