So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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