my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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