Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
