At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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