a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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