I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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