he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
