Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
