We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
