make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
