If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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