I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
