my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
