you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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