My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
