Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
