I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
