By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
