I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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