Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
