so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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