i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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