she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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