You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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