There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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