I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
