she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
