sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
pray to the hookup gods
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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