I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
