It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
