Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
