I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
