Heybabeimwearingurpanties
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We have started to decorate penises.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
